


Green Little Monster

by Rawrlove19



Series: Inner Demons [1]
Category: Janoskians
Genre: Fighting, Jai hates himself, Jealousy, Self Esteem Issues, Twins, depressed jai, jai feels unloved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9652787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrlove19/pseuds/Rawrlove19
Summary: "Hey Luke, do you want to go-" Jai started to ask me excitedly before I interrupted him, my jealousy taking over."Why would I want to do anything with you? You're just a pest and I want to get away from you, not spend even more time with you than necessary. I only put up with you because we're twins and for some reason Beau actually loves you. Don't really understand why, I despise even knowing you." I stated harshly. His face fell and it was obvious my words had hurt him. He deserved it, so I didn't care. It's not like my words ever affect him anyway. At least, That's what I thought until I saw the first tear fall."Noted. I'll try to stay away from now on." Jai whispered brokenly, but the silence surrounding the words made it seem like he was screaming. Jai forced a smile on his face and rushes out of the room. Oh well, it's not the first time I've hurt him with words. He always gets over it within 10 minutes.Only this time he didn't.





	

Luke's POV 

People ask me all of the time what being a twin is like. Let me just tell you...it's awful.

By awful I mean, you bring out the worst in each other. For me, that was jealousy. I was extremely jealous of Jai because he always got Beau's attention. It wouldn't have bothered me that much, if it wasn't for the fact that everyone always asks us which twin Beau likes better. It was obviously Jai, and I was getting sick of it.

-

"Hey Luke, do you want to go-" Jai started to ask me excitedly before I interrupted him, my jealousy taking over.

"Why would I want to do anything with you? You're just a pest and I want to get away from you, not spend even more time with you than necessary. I only put up with you because we're twins and for some reason Beau actually loves you. Don't really understand why, I despise even knowing you." I stated harshly. His face fell and it was obvious my words had hurt him. He deserved it, so I didn't care. It's not like my words ever affect him anyway. At least, That's what I thought until I saw the first tear fall. 

"Noted. I'll try to stay away from now on." Jai whispered brokenly, but the silence surrounding the words made it seem like he was screaming. Jai forced a smile on his face and rushes out of the room. Oh well, it's not the first time I've hurt him with words. He always gets over it within 10 minutes.

Only this time he didn't.

-

I woke up the next day to a silent house. I went to the kitchen to grab some breakfast, but was startled by Jai sitting unmovingly at the table.

That's weird.

Jai has more energy than anyone else I know. He's always doing something, so it surprised me to see him just glaring at the table.

"Jai?" I call out. His eyes glanced at me for a split second before returning to the table. "Where's Beau and Daniel?"

"Took a trip. I don't know where, but they won't be back for a few days." He answered quickly. I waited for him to start talking about who-knows what, but he never did. He just sat there. So weird...

"Are we doing anything today?" I asked. I felt slightly guilty for what I said yesterday, but it's Jai. Jai never gets angry. I glanced at him again when he didn't respond. "Jai!" I yelled trying to get his attention.

"Sorry. I- I'll just go if that's what you want." He started to get up to leave, but I grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Wait. You're not mad are you?" I asked, biting my lip.

"No... I'm sorry, Luke, I'm sorry for everything." He whispered. This isn't like him. He never acts like this. Jai is a selfish twin that never apologizes.

"What are you talking about? Is this about yesterday? I was irritated and snapped at you. That's nothing new, so get over it."

That was definitely not the right thing to say. I could only watch in horror as my twin brother suddenly broke out into harsh sobs. He was crying harder than I've ever see him cry before. I feel really guilty now. I decided to hug him, hugs will always make things better. 

"No, don't touch me!" He screamed, flinching back. "Don't touch someone you hate."

"No..." I shook my head, "I don't hate you, Jai-Jai."

"Yes you do. Everyone does. You. Fans. Even Beau. I have no one that actually loves me. I thought I had you, but now I know better. Sorry for ever thinking that." He yelled through his tears. What had I done? Not only did he think I hated him, but he thought nobody loved him.

"Jai, no one hates you. We all love you, especially Beau. In fact, you're his favorite. I was just jealous and I let my green monster take over." I explained to him.

"You really think that? Luke, you've always been the favorite twin. I barely even talk to Beau. You two are always filming videos that are strictly between you two. I'm not invited. You're always hanging out together. I'm not invited. He hugs you off camera. I'm only hugged for the sake of a video. So, you are his favorite...you just don't seem to realize it." 

Jai was right. I don't know how I missed it before. Beau worried about Jai for one day, and I completely acted like he didn't love me. In reality, Jai was the one being neglected. I didn't even realize it, and my ignorance caused my baby brother to feel unloved. 

"Jai, I'm so so so sorry! I didn't even realize. We both love you so much, so never think that we don't."

"It's ok, I accepted that I was born a mistake years ago. People don't love mistakes, and I'm okay with that."

"Don't think like that!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I never realized that Jai had been feeling like this, apparently for years. "I love you, and I couldn't ask for a better twin. You're not a mistake. Nobody thinks that way. I'm going to make it up to you, I promise." I forced Jai into a hug against his will. Eventually, he relaxed into it and started crying even harder than he already was.

-  
Two days later Beau and Daniel came home. 

"Beau I really need to talk to you." I told him as soon as he walked through the door, dragging him out of the room while Daniel tried to tell Jai some crazy story.

"What's wrong?" Beau asked when we made it into the hallway, out of earshot of the other two boys.

"Jai's depressed." I blurted out, "He thinks that no one loves him and that he's a mistake, and I don't know what to do to convince him otherwise."

"What?!" Beau was shocked, "What happened to make him suddenly feel like this?"

"We had a fight and I said some pretty awful stuff to him. The next morning we had another fight and he admitted that he's been feeling like that for years."

"I had no idea...what were you even fighting about?"

"Umm." I blushed. "Nothing important!"

"Luke tell me." Beau narrowed his eyes.

"I may have gotten jealous because I thought you liked Jai more and said a few harsh words..."

"Are you serious?" Beau asked in disbelief. "I love both of you equally. Nothing would ever change that." Beau flicked Me in the head, and then rushed to see their youngest brother.

"Hey Beau." Jai greeted when he noticed his brother rushing over to him.

"Love you Jai!" Beau threw himself at Jai, hugging him tightly. Jai's face contorted into a pain-filled look.

"Luke told you, didn't he?"

"Yup!" Beau cheered with fake-happiness. "And guess what?"

"Ummm."

"Until you learn to love yourself, Luke over here is going to be glued to your side when I can't be showering you in my love."

Only beau would have that kind of solution, I chuckled to myself.


End file.
